Please Forward This!

  

Please Forward This!
Humor in an age of internet insecurity

     If you have any form of social networking or chat list program today then chances are that you have seen some of the following.
I am cleaning up my friends list. If you wish to remain on my friends list then please message me.
I support… (Chevy’s, troops, kittens, mom, apple pie, Oboma, anyone but Oboma… insert your favorite rant or cause here). If you support (refer to previous list) also, then please (like, comment, repost, forward, insert the name of your first crush, list 4 relatives with webbed toes, etc…) to 20 people within 10 minutes and you will receive (coupons for pizza, your true love, blessings, good health… insert your favorite form of reward) If you do not (like, comment, repost, forward, insert the name of your first crush…) within 10 minutes then you (will have bad health, bad breath, lose your girlfriend, or dog, hate America or country of birth, are a communist, hate puppies, and a nameless child in China will die…)
     I think you get the picture. I have been online since long before there was an internet or a world wide web. That’s right I am no spring chicken. Through the years I have seen many trends come and go. Many of the chat, and social programs we used in the beginning have been bought out, merged or just went obsolete and died. The one persistent thing about all chat, and social programs however is the re-occurring appearances of the before mentioned types of posts.
     The media tells us that in this day and age people are bolder about their beliefs and desires due to the popularity of online chatting and social media. We are no longer afraid to stand up and be who we are and speak our collective minds. I agree to a point, but I do believe that the above posts show that we are still a little shy about speaking up and being heard without the support of our online social network.
     Think about it. If someone asks you to message them if you wish to remain on their friends list what are they really saying? Perhaps they want validation from the names that show up in their friends list that yes you do really like them. What about the posts requiring you to repost their beliefs? Maybe they are saying “I believe in this strongly. Well as long as you think it is a good idea too.”
     I recently sent out the following post on several of my online social networks in response to the before mentioned messages. I have to tell you it received more likes, forwards and repostings than most any of my other inane ramblings.
     Dear friends,
     If anyone needs a demonstration to be secure in the idea that I like them, well they may be disappointed. Yes I like you or I wouldn’t have added you as my friend on Facebook, Twitter, My Space, etc… to begin with. What I do not like is always being asked to prove it. If I do not forward your post it does not mean that I do not like America, or our soldiers, apple pie, Chevy, or Jesus. I for one believe those are all personal things and not particularly anyone else’s business (unless of course I choose of my own volition to share them). I DO however happen to like kittens, and babies, and apple pie. I support our troops, and love Jesus, and I am very thankful for each and every one of my friends. I am the most thankful for the friends who do not ask me to prove it or else they will believe me to be a communist etc…
    Now if you like me, and or support this message then repost this to 50 people in 10 minutes and you will receive one or two pre-approved credit card applications in your mail within the next two weeks.
    Should you choose not to forward or repost this message then an orphan in China will die without ever having owned a puppy named apple pie.
     If that did not make you smile, then you obviously do not like kittens. Keep laughing my friends.
-Brian Randleas